Parents: The Key to Excellence!

Years ago, while building what would later become our first children's program, I had the opportunity to observe a coach working with elementary school children at one of their practices. As an aspiring life skills development professional, I was intrigued by how amazing and disciplined the kids were. Their discipline was on a whole other level than the kids I had been working with at the time and I wanted to know how this happened so I could re-create this in our own fledgling kids programs. Even after speaking with the coach, I honestly left more at a loss as to how they had this kind of success. The coach had similar systems to mine, but was able to serve their needs at a much higher level, and I still couldn't tell what the difference was.

A few months later while officiating at a martial arts tournament, I noticed a lot of the kids competing there were also performing at this high level. Their motor functions were so much more advanced than the kids I had been working with. Their ability to focus and character development was truly on another level. After the event was over, I racked my brain trying to figure out what was missing and I finally came to a conclusion that has proven itself true time and again ever since. The same thing that made all of those kids champions was the same thing that had enabled other kids I had seen over the years playing piano like virtuosos, dancing like professionals, or any other amazing feats of excellence.

What I finally discovered was that the common thread between all of them was that they all had amazing parents that worked really hard at keeping them encouraged and disciplined. These weren't the parents that gave up or depended on their own child's motivation to keep them engaged. These parents understood that children NEED their parents to keep them disciplined. Most children are not capable of the self-motivation that makes champions. Most children still need their parents to make sure they take care of the mundane such as brushing their teeth or wearing socks. This is absolutely normal at these ages and as such it is unrealistic to believe that they will become excellent without help. Achieving excellence doesn't just mean athletic endeavors. Excellence is being their very best in all areas of life so that they become successful, well-rounded adults who are healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Getting a better understanding of this dynamic, we began to expand our attention to parents by keeping them encouraged especially when they don't see the improvements happening with their child. Improvements take more time and are much more subtle than most realize. The challenges can be very heart wrenching at times and make parents feel like their situation is hopeless. Since they live with their children, it can be difficult to see the small victories adding up. Small victories adding up eventually become the big wins and sometimes we just need a team rooting for the parents. Parents are the unsung heroes of successful children and we all need to take some time to thank them for their efforts. Once our programs started this, the results have been amazing. We have great stories of children overcoming all sorts of problems that may have seemed impossible. Some of these stories are so impactful they could make anyone tear up.

In short, parents are the majority of the reason for a child's success. Behind every successful child, is a parent being the child's anchor and keeping them on track. Being a kid is hard. Being a kid trying to learn healthy emotional regulation is hard. Parents are essential to keeping them disciplined while navigating these challenges. Now when our children break through their own limitations and discover they are more than they know, I smile and salute those parents who are working hard in the background keeping their children disciplined and on track. We appreciate everything you do.